| [The South Park Elementary school gym, day. The students have been called to show up there. Mr. Mackey comes out and stands in front of a big TV and between two bulky tower speakers]
|
| Mr. Mackey: | Students, quiet please, m'kay? As you may or may not know, today is Canada Appreciation Day.
|
| Cartman: | Oh God, I'm bored already.
|
| Mr. Mackey: | M'kay, so we've been asked to show you a video from the World Canadian Bureau. Uh start the tape please? [exits right as the tape starts up. A Canadian flag appears onscreen]
|
| WCB President: | [appears in his office onscreen] Hello, I am Steven Abootman, President of the World Canadian Bureau. Do you ever stop to think how important Canada is to the world? Right now, I would like all students of Canadian descent in this school to stand up. [no one moves a muscle until one lone Canadian boy, Ike, stands up.] Just look at all these fine Canadians in your school. See how diverse they are. When you think of Canada, what's the one thing that comes to mind?
|
| Cartman: | Gayness! [everyone laughs and looks at Ike, who looks chagrined.]
|
| Steven Abootman: | That's right: spirit! What is it that makes Canada so important?
|
| Craig: | Nothing! [everyone laughs harder and looks at Ike.]
|
| [Canada, day, a crowd stands in front of a building with G on it.]
|
| Steven Abootman: | My fellow Canadians, for two long we have been pushed around, and ridicules! Yesterday was supposed to be a day of appreciation and understanding! Instead, Canada Appreciation Day was mocked worldwide! [the crowd begins to clamor]
|
| Man 1: | [wearing #10]Nobody takes us Canadians seriousleh!
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| Man 2: | [a lumberjack] It's like the world doesn't respect Canada at all, eh?
|
| Steven Abootman: | That's right! And I think it's time for Canada to show the world just bad things would be without it! Together we can send a message! It's time for Canada ...to strike!
|
| Woman 1: | Did you say strike?
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| Steven Abootman: | Yes! Every Canadian join me! Join together!
|
| Man 3: | Canada, on strike.
|
| Man 4: | Canada, on strike.
|
| Canadians: | [a different crowd shot for each "Canadaaa"] Canadaaa! Canadaaa! Canadaaa! Canadaaa!
Canada on strike! Canada says "No more!"
No more neglect! we want respect! That's what we're striking for!
All you bureacrats and corporate cats
|
| Border Guard: | Can all just take a hike! [rolls down his window shade]
|
| Canadians: | [large crowd] It's Canaada! On Strike! [they whip out their strike signs]
Canada on strike! From Vancouver to St. John's [both locations are shown],
We raise our little fingers for you all to sit upon!
[a hockey team] And with our fingers up your ass, [workers at The Canadian Maple Syrup Company] you won't be very psyched
[workers in the building drop syrup barrels from the upper floors] It's Canada! On Strike!
[Mounties march in a circle] And we will not bow a bunch! Our resolve is strong!
[A conductor leads a group of singers] We even took three hours to rehearse this striking song! [a trumpeter leans in and toots. His hat is like Kyle's]
[Pizza Nut] Canada on strike! No matter where you are,
[On TV at Café 180] If you are Canadian then you've got to do your part!
March out of the halls!
|
| Café 180 Patron: | [stands up and poses] That's right, suck my Canadian balls!
[runs out and poses] It's Canada! On Strike!
|
| Canadians: | [the camera zooms out to a view from space of a nation of singing Canadians] It's Canada! Canada! Canada! On Strike!
[a lone Canadian laughs somewhere]
|
| [The United Nations, day.]
|
| Swiss Delegate: | Ahhh, ven you say "Canada is on strike," what exactly do you mean?
|
| Steven Abootman: | What do you think it means?! [pounds the table] We're striking, buddih! No more! That's it! Until we get what we want
|
| French Delegate: | Who are you exactly to authorize this strike?
|
| Steven Abootman: | I'm Steven Abootman! Leader of the WGA!
|
| French Delegate: | The WGA?
|
| Steven Abootman: | [crosses his arms] Yes! The World Canadian Bureau! [the other delegates don't react.]
|
| French Delegate: | What exactly does Canada want?
|
| Steven Abootman: | We want: more... money!
|
| Aide 1: | [with mustache] Yeah! More money!
|
| Japanese Delegate: | More money from where?
|
| Steven Abootman: | Just more money! You know! Canada doesn't get enough money! Other countries have lots of money; we want, we want some of that money! Hu- how about- the Internet? The Internet makes lots of money! So give us some of that money!
|
| Aide 1: | Yeah! Give us Internet money!
|
| British Delegate: | A Mister A- Abootman, you seem to- not understand how ...global economics works. I think that-
|
| Steven Abootman: | Don't give me that fat-cat fancy lip-wiggling! Are you gonna give Canada more money or what?! [pounds his fist on the table a few times]
|
| British Delegate: | I'm afraid we can't.
|
| Steven Abootman: | Then you leave Canada no choice. [heads for the doors. His aides open them and he heads out] This strike shall continue! [the aides head out, closing the doors behind htem.]
|
| [A snowy night in South Park, a shot of Kyle's room through his window. Kyle heads to the front end of his room to look out the window. Out on the sidewalk stands Ike with his own strike sign: "HONK if you support CANADA" Cars pass by without stopping. Kyle suffers for him. A car pulls up and Ike turns to face it]
|
| Husband: | "Honk if you support Canada" He- hey honey, watch this. [honks twice]
|
| Wife: | [looks at him] Oh, we're supporting unions.
|
| Husband: | That's right; we're a very progressive couple.
|
| Wife: | Yes. [reaches over and honks the horn] Oh, that's fun!
|
| Husband: | Well we've done our good deed for the week. I think now I can make love to your anus without making God angry.
|
| Wife: | Oh really? Goodie! [they drive off. Ike watches them leave]
|
| [Stan's house, day. Stan, Butters, and Cartman are watching TV. Kyle walks in from outside]
|
| Kyle: | Guys, I'm really worried about my brother.
|
| Cartman: | We don't care. *urp.*
|
| Kyle: | You should care! This strike affects everybody, fatass!
|
| Stan: | Sh ush ush, it'sa it's on!
|
| Butters: | Yippie!
|
| Announcer: | It's the Terrance and Phillip Show. [Terrance and Phillip in] Today's episode: I Fart Huckabees. [Terrance and Phillip are shown dressed in Viking warrior outfits]
|
| Butters: | Aww, this one again?!
|
| Stan: | God, they've replayed this one like eighty times now!
|
| Terrance: | Say Phillip, I just bought this new hybrid car.
|
| Phillip: | Oh? Does it run on electricity?
|
| Terrance: | [the boys say the line too] No, it uses natural gas. [they do raspberries as Terrance farts on Phillip. Terrance and Phillip laugh]
|
| Phillip: | Not as fat as your face!
|
| Butters: | Huh, it somehow looses its punch after multiple viewings.
|
| Cartman: | God-damnit, when are they going to air new Terrance and Phillip shows?!
|
| Kyle: | There aren't gonna be new shows! Don't you get it?! Terrance and Phillip are Canadian! We have to get Canada to end this strike!
|
| Stan: | It's not a big deal. We can just watch American comedy. ["Terrance and Phillip" disappears and "Family Guy" comes on]
|
| Peter Griffin: | You think that's bad? Remember the time I sang "La Cucaracha" for Paul McCartney?
|
| Cartman: | [jumps off the couch and runs to the TV] No! NOOO!
|
| Peter Griffin: | La Cucaracha- [Cartman turns off the TV and faces his friends] We are NOT... resorting to that!
|
| [Striking Canadians, day.]
|
| Canadians: | We want more! We want more!
|
| Steven Abootman: | One, two, three, four, Canada deserves more (money)! One, two, three, four,Canada deserves more (money)!
|
| Terrance: | Look, buddih, me and Phillip need to go home for a bit.
|
| Steven Abootman: | Go home?! You can't leave the picket line!
|
| Terrance: | But this is taking too long, and Phillip is diabetic.
|
| Steven Abootman: | Look, guy, we are to stay strong! If you don't stand with your fellow Canadians, then you are a rat!
|
| Terrance: | Don't call me a rat, buddih!
|
| Steven Abootman: | I'm not your buddih, friend!
|
| Phillip: | He's not your friend, guy!
|
| Steven Abootman: | I'm not your guy, buddih!
|
| Terrance: | He's not your buddih, friend!
|
| Steven Abootman: | I'm not your friend, guy! [all three fall silent, and Steven goes forward] Don't you two understand anything?! You think striking is a joke?! You think it's something to ridicule?!
|
| Weird Hat Guy: | [pops in] Yah, you think this is funnih?
|
| Steven Abootman: | [moves to address the whole crowd] Don't you see that we have to stand together or else we have nothing?!
|
| Aide 1: | [runs up with a cell phone] Steven! Steven! A call came in from the United States! They want to talk to you aboot ending the strike!
|
| Steven Abootman: | What did I tell you?! I told you we'd get to them sooner or later! [the crowd gets excited and starts chatting] Shh, shh, quiet everyone! Let me handle this. [everyone falls silent as he takes the call] Yes. This is Steven Abootman, head of the WGA.
|
| Kyle: | Uh, hi, we want you to end this strike. [he's calling from his house, with the other boys standing back aways]
|
| Steven Abootman: | Oh you do, huh?! [muffles the phone, then tells the others] They've had enough. They want us to end the strike. [everyone cheers] Quiet, quiet, shh, shh, sh- quiet, quiet! Let me deal with this. [the Canadians fall silent and Steven returns to the phone] All right, we're prepared to end this strike! If you are agreeing that we should have more monihhh!
|
| Kyle: | We totally think you should have more money.
|
| Steven Abootman: | Wwe got 'em! We did it! [jumps up and down with much energy. Everyone cheers. "Great job!"] All right, how much are you gonna give us?
|
| Kyle: | Huh? Well we don't really have that much money.
|
| Steven Abootman: | Oh, negotiating hardball, are we?! What about all that Internet money?!
|
| Kyle: | The Internet?
|
| Steven Abootman: | You listen to me, friend! [walks away from the crowd so they don't hear him so loudly] You'd better figure out a way to get us our fair amount of money, and until you come back with a solid fair number, I'm finished talking to you, you slimy corporate dickhead! [hangs up, then faces the crowd] Don't worry, don't worry. This is how negotiating works. This is good. We've got 'em by the balls.
|
| [Kyle looks at the phone dumbfounded. The other boys walk up]
|
| Stan: | What'd they say?
|
| Kyle: | They said we have to give them money that we make on the Internet.
|
| Cartman: | How are we supposed to make money on the Internet?
|
| Butters: | Well, how do other people make money on the Internet?
|
| Kyle: | We'd have to put something up on the Internet that everyone would find fascinating.
|
| Cartman: | [steps up] Wait. I've got it.
|
| [A video. Butters is on a stage with bluescreen so it looks like he's actually in a spaceship. He's in his normal clothes, and he begins to dance. To his right rises Spaceman Butters, and to his left rises Pajama Butters.]
|
| Butters: |
I said what what? In the butt
I said what what? In the butt
I said what what? In the butt [the teddy bear outfit returns]
I said what what? In the butt
You wanna do it in my butt, in my butt?
You wanna do it in my butt, in my butt?
You wanna do it in my butt, in my butt? [Stan gives a thumbs-up. Cartman does the same. The video is on YouToob]
Let's do it in the butt. O-kay!
[from behind a big chocolate heart] It's okay
[Butters floating in space] Ih-if you have a little fight
[a girl watches the video] Don't you worry
[Butters bites into the heart] I won't bite (Not that hard)
[Spaceman Butters] If you want it
[a man watches the video] I'll give you power
Just be gentle
[Flower Butters] I'm delicate like a flower
Give it to me, if you please
Give it to me, if you please
|
| A Nun: | Oh my.
|
| Butters: | [now in three voices] I said what what? In the butt
I said what what? In the butt
[wearing black jeans with "what what" on the butt] I said what what? In the butt
I said what what? In the butt
You wanna do it in my butt, in my butt?
You wanna do it in my butt, in my butt?
[a naked Butters holds a rose] You wanna do it in my butt, in my butt?
Let's do it in the butt. O-kay!
|
| [Kyle's room. The boys have been watching the video from there]
|
| Cartman: | There's more people viewing it!
|
| Stan: | This is going great!
|
| Kyle: | [walks over to the window] Don't worry, Ike! The strike will be over soon! [Ike is on his back]
|
| [Canada, night. The Canadians are beat. Some walk around listlessly, others have facial hair, all have bags under their eyes]
|
| Tom: | And in other world news, the leader of Japan today is calling for an increase in military spending.
|
| Aide 1: | How come they never mention anything about us?! When are they gonna get to the strike?!
|
| Steven Abootman: | Don't worry, the strike is big news. I'm sure it will be one of the top stories.
|
| Tom: | In other news tonight, it the Internet video that has already seen over ten million views. A young confused-looking boy dancing and singing a song called "What What (In My Asshole)"
|
| Reporter: | [in front of Butters' house] Tom, in just one week the video has become the most watched thing in all of America. [Butters appears at his bedroom window and waves at the camera] The boy in the video, referred to by most as "that little gay kid," [Butters stops and leaves the window] has already been asked to appear on Jimmy Kimmel and The Today Show.
|
| Steven Abootman: | Aw damnit that's not news! What abaout us?!
|
| Phillip: | Look, ah, Steven, Terranace and I were talking andeh, well it's, it's starting to look like maybe we're not gonna win this thing, you know?
|
| Steven Abootman: | We'll win! We'll just have to stay resilient!
|
| Phillip: | Wull, yeah, but everyone is dying of starvation.
|
| Terrance: | Yeah, let's give it up, guy.
|
| Steven Abootman: | Don't call me your guy! I'm not your guy, friend!
|
| Terrance: | Well I'm not your friend, buddih!
|
| Steven Abootman: | Well I'm not your buddih, guy!
|
| Woman 2: | Wait! Here it is! Turn it up! We're on!
|
| Tom: | And finally tonight, a new development in the Canada strike. For those of you who don't remember or don't care, Canada has been striking for more money. [the Canadians cheer]
|
| Steven Abootman: | All right! Shh! I told you, I told you, listen, listensh, listen listen listen.
|
| Tom: | In a shocking turn of events, it now appears that thousands of people from Denmark are flooding into the United States with hopes of taking the place of the striking Canadians.
|
| Steven Abootman: | What?
|
| [An airport. A plane from Denmark is parked on the tarmac and Danish people pour out of it. The Danish have both Canadian and normal features - Canadian bodies and jaws and normal eyes]
|
| Female Reporter: | Do you really think you Danish can replace the Canadians?
|
| Danish Man: | Well, where we come from it's pretty cold too, ja. We like hockey and nobody really pays any attention to us.
|
| Danish Woman: | Nobody knows where Denmark is.
|
| Danish Man: | Right. So when you think about it, we're the Canadians of Europe.
|
| [Back in Canada]
|
| Steven Abootman: | SCABS! How could you?! [runs up to the TV annd destroys it with one kick]
|
| [A lobby, somewhere. DIM, it says. Department of Interenet Money. Stan and the boys walk up to the help desk. They look around before Stan steps forward]
|
| Stan: | Ah, hi. We made a really successful thing on the Internet, and we'd like to collect our money.
|
| Clerk: | Take a number and wait with everyone else.
|
| Cartman: | Ma'am, perhaps you don't recognize the Internet sensation Little Gay Kid from YouToob
|
| Clerk: | [not taking time out from her work] Take a number and wait with everyone else! [Stan takes a numberd slip from the dispenser and leads the other boys to some seats in a waiting room nearby]
|
| Black Man: | [slowly, a little creepily] Chocolate Raaain.
|
| Butters: | Aaah. [another man walks up to the boys]
|
| Tron Guy: | Hey, I know you. You're the "What What (In My Asshole)" kid.
|
| Butters: | [insulted, crosses his arms] "What What (In The Butt)," sir.
|
| Stan: | It's Tron Guy. I saw him on YouToob.
|
| Tron Guy: | Yeah, sure. All the biggest Internet stars are here. You remember, of course, Numa Numa. [to his right is the Numa Numa guy. He begins dancing to a song]
|
| Numa Numa: | Ma-iyahi Ma-iyahu Ma-iyaho, Ma-iyaha ha
|
| Tron Guy: | And the Star Wars kid. [the kid starts to dance around as in his video] And the Internet sensation Cute Sneezing Panda. [as in its video, the mother panda sneezes as soon as her child moves] And there's Dramatic Look Gopher. [the camera pans by a lonely girl and focuses on the gopher, who seems to notice the camera is on him. He quickly turns to face the camera and freezes]
|
| Cartman: | Wow, I've seen all you guys on the Internet!
|
| Chocolate Rain Guy: | [to Butters] So, how many people have seen your Internet video?
|
| Butters: | Uhhh a few hundred thousand?
|
| Chocolate Rain Guy: | Huh, mere peanuts. Chocolate Rain has done gangbusters. Theoretically, I'm a millionaire.
|
| Cartman: | Dude, screw you. Your Internet thing was so last year.
|
| Chris Crocker: | [jumps in out of nowhere] Leave Chocolate Rain Guy alone! Leave him alohohone! I'm serious! [a phone rings and Kyle digs into his pocket]
|
| Kyle: | [finds the phone...] Excuse me. [...leaves his seat and exits the waiting room. Then he takes the call] Hello?
|
| Steven Abootman: | [sitting on a cardboard box] You greedy corporate fat cat. You said you would get us moneh.
|
| Kyle: | Wait we're working on it.
|
| Steven Abootman: | [stands and moves forward] You're stalling! Because you think I'll give up. You know that most Canandians are talkin' about giving up the strike already. [coughs away from the phone] You've got me over a barrel and you know it!
|
| Kyle: | Sir, we're doing everything we can.
|
| Steven Abootman: | You want me to say it again?! You've got me over a barrel! There, you happy?! You've got me bent over a barrel with my tender ass just waiting to be pulverized by your thrusting manhood! [Kyle stays quiet] Do you realize how stupid I'm going to look if I call off the strike after starting all this?! I won't do it! You hear me, guy?! You're wrong! No matter what happens I will never call of this strike! Even if it means we all. Die.
|
| Kyle: | We don't want you to die.
|
| Steven Abootman: | Then you'd better hurry. We don't have much longer. The blood will be on your hands. [slowly hangs up]
|
| [Back at the waiting room... Kyle returns]
|
| Kyle: | We have to speed this up! [to Chocolate Rain Guy] Uh, can we collect our Internet money in front of you, please?
|
| Chocolate Rain Guy: | I don't think so. Nothing takes priority over Chocolate Rain.
|
| Star Wars Kid: | Oh, here he goes with the ego again. Who crowned you the top Internet star?!
|
| Chocolate Rain Guy: | I did. When I became bigger than all you bitches.
|
| Tron Guy: | Oh please, Laughing Baby had more times as many views as you! [the baby begins to laugh and laugh...]
|
| Chocolate Rain Guy: | You'd better shut your fuckin' mouth, Laughin' Baby!
|
| Afro Ninja: | Did you all forget about Afro Ninja? My Internet thing was bigger than anybody's. I made over a hundred million theoretical dollars.
|
| Star Wars Kid: | Well Sneezing Panda is theoretically worth billions!
|
| Chocolate Rain Guy: | You all wanna motherfuckin' die?! [whips out a Glock and cocks it]
|
| Chris Crocker: | NOOO! [grabs the gun and tries to wrestle it from Chocolate Rain Guy]
|
| [A battle royal begins. Tron Guy whips out a frisbee and chucks it at Numa Numa. It hits Numa Numa's left cheek]
|
| Numa Numa Guy: | Haw!
|
| [Afro Ninja fights the Star Wars Kid, Numa Numa fights Tron Guy, Chris Crocker fights Chocolate Train Guy. Afro Ninja knocks Star Wars Guy away with his nanchucks, then tries a back flip and falls on his face. He gets up groggily and stumbles away. The baby laughs some more]
|
| Kyle: | Okay, forget it. We'll wait our turn.
|
| Tron Guy: | Hai Hayaaa!
|
| Numa Numa: | Ma-iyahi Ma-iyahu Ma-iyah- [kicks Tron Guy in the balls, then lands a left hook on his face]
|
| Chris Crocker: | [jumps in to separate the two men] Leave Tron Guy alone! Leave him alone! [the baby continues laughing. Chocolate Rain Guy grabs Chris Crocker by the hair and drags him around. Chris is screaming]
|
| Chocolate Rain Guy: | Get ready for some chocolate pain, bitch! [aims his him right at Chris' head. Chris quickly bites Chocolate Rain Guy's right leg, making him drop the gun. The mother panda mauls Numa Numa, Tron Guy throws his frisbee again, and Chris Crocker jumps in again]
|
| Chris Crocker: | Leave the panda alone! Leave her alone, I'm serious! [the mother panda stands on her hind legs and just swats Chris out of view, killing him. Chocolate Rain Guy reaches for his fallen gun, turns around, and kills Star Wars Kid with two shots. The mother panda mauls Tron Guy to death, and Chocolate Rain Guy kills the panda with four shots. He then aims at the gopher]
|
| Chocolate Rain Guy: | Thought I forgot about you, Gopher?! [the gopher, who's facing away from him, suddenly turns its head to him, looking at him intently] Ughhh, my brains. [his head swells up and explodes. His body staggers for a few seconds, then falls to the side. One last bullet leaves his gun and blows the gopher's head off. Anyone who wasn't involved in the battle is gone]
|
| Cartman: | Sweet. I think we're next in line now.
|
| [Kyle's house, day. Ike is still on the front lawn, still on his back. He blinks]
|
| [Canada, day. Everyone there is now tired out. Some have died, as they have X's where their eyes should be. The camera moves forward to the G (for Government) building, then flies up the side until it reaches Mr. Abootman's office. Mr. Abootman looks out the window at the crowd beneath him]
|
| Aide 1: | [opens the office door] Steven!, Steven! They're here! They've come to negotiate!
|
| Steven Abootman: | [turns around] What?! You mean it?! [Kyle and friends walk in]
|
| Kyle: | Okay, we did it.
|
| Steven Abootman: | Who the hell are you?
|
| Stan: | We're the ones you told to get Internet money.
|
| Kyle: | Here. [hands Mr. Abootman the money] We made ten million theoretical dollars. It's all for you. [Mr. Abootman takes the check and looks at it]
|
| Steven Abootman: | Theorretical dollars? What am I supposed to do with that?! [turns away] You little timewasters!
|
| Stan: | Hey, we worked really hard to get this theoretical money!
|
| Kyle: | Yeah. Everyone thinks I'm a homo now.
|
| Cartman: | ...You are a homo, Butters.
|
| Kyle: | Yeah, will you just end this thing now?! My little brother is gonna die!
|
| Steven Abootman: | Nooooo! I'm not gonna look like an idiot! If I fucked up and led everyone astray, the last thing I'm going to do and admit it! [the phone rings and he turns to answer it] Yes, this is the head of the WGA. The World Canadian Bureau.
|
| [The UN, day. A conference call - the leaders talk to Mr. Abootman over a speakerphone]
|
| Swiss Delegate: | Ah, Mr. Abootman. It's the global world summit leaders. We want to talk to you about the strike.
|
| Steven Abootman: | You... You do? You wanna negotiate?!
|
| French Delegate: | No, we were just wondering if, when you're all dead, we can use Newfoundland for a new global theme park. [Mr. Abootman drops the phone and begins to weep. He walks away with his hands over his eyes]
|
| Kyle: | [picks up the phone] Hello? Will you just give this guy something, please?!
|
| Swiss Delegate: | Excuse me?
|
| Kyle: | [Mr. Abootman leans on the door, crying] He just doesn't wanna look like an idiot, so he wants everyone to think the strike was for something. Ehjust, just give him anything!
|
| French Delegate: | Well, we could give Canada some small consolation pirize
|
| Kyle: | If they give you something small, will you end the strike?
|
| Steven Abootman: | Well they... act like they're giving Canada a lot so everyone thinks I did a good job?
|
| Kyle: | Can you act like you're giving him a lot?
|
| Swiss Delegate: | Well, why not?
|
| [Canada, moments later. Mr. Abootman steps outside to the podium and makes an announcement]
|
| Steven Abootman: | We have won! [no one reacts: they're all too tired to]
|
| Lumberjack 2: | Well how much did we got?
|
| Steven Abootman: | Well, we uh, we didn't get everything that we wanted, but... we nogotiated hard and... we got these... [holds up some coupons] coupons to Bennigan's! And... [holds up a bag of sweets] free bubblegum... for every Canadian. [his aide steps forward and claps really fast. Other Canadians begin to clap their hands] These coupons entitle every Canadian to a free meal at Bennigan's. With the purchase of a meal at equal or greater value, of course.
|
| Aide 1: | We did it! [aide 2 steps forward and claps really fast. Other Canadians begin to clap their hands]
|
| Steven Abootman: | My friends. This is the greatest victory in Canadian history. [headlines follow: The Canuck Reporter has "Canada Wins The Strike." Canadiety has "Strike over! Canada Victorious!." Canada Today has "Strike Victory Party Set For Next Week."]
|
| [South Park, Kyle's house, front lawn, day. Ike is still half-buried in the snow. A taxi pulls up to the curb and lets the boys out]
|
| Kyle: | Ike. Ike! [Ike wakes up] It's over.
|
| Ike: | [stands up] It's over?
|
| Kyle: | Yeah. Here you go. [hands him a Bennigan's coupon and a gumdrop. Kyle and the others head indoors]
|
| Stan: | Boy, I'm sure glad that's over with.
|
| Butters: | Me too!
|
| Kyle: | Yeah, but you know, I learned something today. We thought we could make money on the Internet. But, while the Internet is new and exciting for creative people, it hasn't matured as a distribution mechanism to the extent that one should trade real and immediate opportunities for income for the promise of future online revenue. It will be a few years before digital distribution of media on the Internet can be monetized to the extent that necessitates content producers to forego their fair value in more traditional media.
|
| Stan: | ...Yeah.
|
| [Canada, the Victory Party. Kool & The Gang's "Celebration." Everyone is just standing around. The camera pans from left to right. Mr. Abootman and his aides appear. They're all dancing]
|
| Steven Abootman: | Yeah, we did it! Celebrate, everyone! Woohoo! [the reason for everyone standing around is shown: a memorial wall on one side of the room has pictures of everyone who died during the strike. Mourners walk up with bouquets and drop them off at the table in front of the wall.]
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| Terrance: | Hold on a minute! Wait just a second! [the music stops as Terrance holds out a calculator] We just did some calculating! By NOT working during the strike, Canadians lost more than 10.4 million dollars!
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| Phillip: | And our Bennigan's coupons and bubble gum is worth roughly... three thousand and eight dollars!
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| Steven Abootman: | Don't look at that. Come on, friends, let's dance.
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| Phillip: | You had no idea what you were doing and now you're trying to make it look like you won so that we won't set you adrift!
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| Steven Abootman: | Damnit friends, don't you see? We won for future Canadians, guy. So the little guy doesn't get pushed around anymore. This was a victory for Canada's respect. [Terrance and Phillip don't believe what they're hearing]
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| [The shore of a lake. A man picks away at a block of ice. Two other men come and push it away. On it are Steven Abootman and his aides]
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| Steven Abootman: | Eh?! What do you think you're doing?!
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| Terrance: | We're sending you adrift, idiot!
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| Phillip: | Maybe you can go live with the Danish!
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| Steven Abootman: | You'll regret this day, friend!
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| Phillip: | I'm not your friend, buddih!
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| Steven Abootman: | I'm not your buddih, guy!
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| Terrance: | He's not your guy, friend!
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| Steven Abootman: | [loud and drawn out] I'm not your friend, buddih!
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| Terrance & Phillip: | We're not your buddih, guy!
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| Steven Abootman: | [now far away] I'm not your guy, friend!
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| [End of Canada On Strike!.]
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